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Dear Fr. Tom,

I have a few questions concerning Catholics in declining health. Three of my oldest siblings are very sick, one is in a nursing home and needs constant attention, doesn't know where she is and can't recognize anyone. She just stares at the outside window.

The other two have dementia. They can't recognize anyone today, and don't even know the day of the week. They used to go to Mass and receive holy communion every week, but now they can't. How do I keep them in a state of grace? Are they committing any sin?

Al C.

Dear Al,

For several reasons, I am grateful to you for your questions.

First, your inquiries brought back many memories, since for a number of years and in various capacities I was involved with our Oblate retirement homes. I found this to be both a rewarding and challenging ministry. Our residents were often a source of unusual wisdom, consolation, and generosity.

From what you write, Al, I would honestly say that your siblings are probably incapable of any type of sin at this time in their lives. In brief, they appear unable to make informed decisions, and therefore, they do not knowingly act against God.

Relative to your keeping them ina state of grace ... simply put, that's God's job, not yours or mine, and I trust God is handling that well.

Lastly, I want to commend you on your sensitivity and your care for your siblings. Why God allows such physical and psychological suffering is a mystery, and that's both our consolation and challenge: To leave room in our lives for the mystery of God's presence and action. I hope this helps.

Fr. Tom