In This Issue:
Gandhi's Grandson to Visit the Shrine
The First Sign of Love is to Listen
Cracking the Code: The Book of Revelation
The Shrine's Community Events - Holy Week at the Shrine
The First Sign of Love is to Listen
Father Tom Hayes, O.M.I. can minister in powerful ways - without saying a word.
Father Tom is a chaplain at the Apartment Community of the National Shrine of Our Lady of the Snows. He spends about 25 hours a week with residents of the community. He presides at liturgies, visits patients and
performs other pastoral duties. But he spends most of his time doing one
thing – listening.
“I heard a long time ago that the first sign of love is to listen, and I really try to do that,” Fr. Tom says.
Father Tom arrived at the Apartment Community in 2009 after retiring from Sacred Heart parish in Oakland, California. He quickly gained a reputation
among the residents as someone they could turn to when they were dealing with a difficult situation. He counsels residents who are estranged from their families, who have questions about their faith or who are dealing with end-of-life issues. But most of his time is spent listening to the hopes and fears of the elderly.
Father Tom discovered the importance of being a good listener while ministering with AIDS patients in California.
In 1987 he accepted a challenge from Archbishop John Quinn of San Francisco to minister to people living with HIV/AIDS. According to
Fr. Tom, working with AIDS patients fit perfectly the Oblate charism to serve the most abandoned members of society.
It was a time when little was known about the disease, and hysteria about AIDS made many patients outcasts in their neighborhoods and even their own families. For 14 years Fr. Tom ministered to more than 2,000 victims of the deadly disease.
“The people I met were unbelievable examples of strength and faith and goodness,” said Fr. Tom. “I looked at people who were 20 to 35 years old who were dying and asked myself if I could ever handle it as well as they did.”
In 2000 Fr. Tom accepted an assignment as pastor of Sacred Heart parish in Oakland. The parish is located in one of the poorest neighborhoods in the city. At Sacred Heart Fr. Tom also did a lot of listening. He listened
to homeless men who had no place to sleep, and to mothers who were in fear that their sons might join a gang.
“Sacred Heart is a very poor parish but it is also very diverse,” said Fr. Tom. “We had nine different ethnic groups worshiping in the parish.”
In 2009 Fr. Tom moved to Belleville to begin his present
ministry as an Apartment Community chaplain. In addition to working at the Apartment Community, Fr. Tom also helps out with retreats at the King’s House Retreat and Renewal Center.
Father Tom says working at the Apartment Community has been a real blessing for him. He enjoys his ministry of presence, being available to residents whenever they need to talk with someone.
Always known for his sense of humor, Fr. Tom says that he especially likes interacting with the kitchen staff at the Apartment Community. He jokes that “it’s easy to be a good listener when your mouth is full.”